Just a conspiracy of cartographers

I'm still kind of enamored with my idea of a retelling of Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead with Doctor Who characters (title: "Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Demand An Explanation For This Bullshit"). R&G could be Donna & Martha (though I'm not settled on which one would be which) and Jack would be The Player. If I wanted to continue using Hamlet as the backpiece, then Rose would be Ophelia (not a dig on Rose, really) and Claudius & Gertrude could be *snicker* Harry and Lucy Saxon.

C'mon, please tell me someone else is as amused by this as I am!